Two female writers discuss meat, poetry, bondage, what’s in a purse and making names for themselves in the literary world. In this interview Jessie Carty will refer to herself as J1 and Johnsie Noel as J3. Why we do this? We won’t explain. It’s girl-code…
J1 aka Jessie Carty: Describe your work in one word.
J3 aka Johnsie Noel: Sensorial. And if I were to describe your writing in one word I would say it is about physicality. Is that an accurate observation? How much does body image, physical needs, and needs in general or appetites influence your writing?
J1: First, I love the term sensorial and I can definitely see that especially in IN THE WAKE where all of my senses are touched by the sound of these old men, the sights and I get a sense of the smell etc just from the words you chose.
I didn’t realize that I had so much physicality to my writing until the very end of my MFA experience when people started pointing it out to me in my thesis. It took me compiling a collection to really see these issues of need that seem to reverberate throughout my poetry especially but also, I think, even in the few characters I create in my prose writing.
I think it all stems from a hunger, the desire for connection and what is the old cliché? You must love yourself before you can love others? Well I feel I must connect with myself and my own appetites if I want to participate with the rest of the writing world.
Whew. OK. I babbled on, didn’t I!
Since we basically met because of online connections, I thought I’d pull another one of those fabulous questions from those ever present lists/memes that appear on blogs and Facebook. This one fits well into the question of hunger and appetites. To the whole issue of what drives us: If there was one food you could eliminate from your past, meaning it would never have crossed your lips, what would it be?
J3: Oh God! No! You didn’t? You vetted that one to me? These ‘one word choice’ questions are so tough. Meat. Rhymes with wheat, which would be my second choice if I had that option since I have gluten intolerance. I cheated, sorry.
Zeeesh! How do I explain this? There are several factors that shape my belief. I am not an outright vegan but do find myself filtering more and more off of my carnivorous plate. Blame it on being an Earth Sign. I’m a Taurus. Blame it on a Jamaican vacation at age ten where they served me seared cow tongue (and I am talking, it looked like the plate was going to start singing harmony to the lobsters screaming soprano in the kitchen). Or, blame it on my heartbreaking sensitivity to the miracles that surround us within the flora and fauna of life. There is a carefully crafted balance out there, in nature, that I have always been in tune with and it definitely permeates my writing.
As a kid reading Black Beauty, Watership Down, Old Yeller, All Creatures Great and Small was equivalent to eating my own heart out. As an adult I can bear witness to the healing power of animals in teaching this human about love, trust, understanding, verbal and non-verbal communication, and the bonds that can be shaped when you free yourself from the confines of selfishness and self-will. I live and breathe horses on the weekends. I feel their power and freedom beneath my seat, hear their heartbeat when I lay my cheek against their girth, and see the prick in their ears when they sense danger and look to me for leadership and a steadying hand within their herd. I see my dog’s joy when I come home and his dedication to guarding me when we go for a run. I watch two families of Canadian Geese, every year, co-operate to raise their young and hear their cries for hours when one is separated from the gaggle. You spend enough time around them you begin to sense what they feel. You sense what they think. You realize that as animals ourselves, we are not the only creatures capable of cognition, of fear, of love. I seem to understand and accept the relationships of earth to animal more so than amongst humanity. I think that message is conveyed somewhat in my poems WATERTOWN and IN THE WAKE. I kind of see us as the biggest parasites on the planet and often wonder what if earth really is Eden but we are turning it into Hell.
I haven’t learned how to reconcile my spirituality and feelings for animals with the need to eat. So I tend to eat that which I feel less for, basically anything with two legs or fins as long as it is not on the bone and looks nothing like the original being. In our house we bless our food and my daughter knows to always eat all of what once had either ‘fins, legs, eyes or a heartbeat.’ I also buy free-range organic. It makes me feel better to think the creature on the plate had a chance to live freely prior to giving up its life to sustain mine. Blame that on my Canadian Indian ancestry. *Did I just eat up half this interview? Sorry…*
Going back to the physicality of your writing, your piece BOUND is filled with frenetic energy and tension. Digging manifests beyond the literal to almost a metaphorical scab picking of humanities biggest wounds: fear of our own insignificance and death. As women, I think we tend to memorialize and enshrine artifacts of our existence, more so than men and carry those around with us, bound to us, like a purse we can’t leave home without. So, dig through your purse and reveal to me the following five items & why you carry them around: Something that…
1. you’ve had a long time and why
2. you’re proud of
3. reveals a lot about you as a writer
4. concerns or worries you
5. reminds you of a fun time
J1: I was so in love with the Black Beauty books when I was around middle school age! We never had a lot of animals around but I had this one German Shepherd named Lady who was such a constant in my life. She became attached to the house where we lived to the point of when we moved away she stayed and wouldn’t come with us. It is like she had to protect anyone who dared live in the strange red house on stilts.
But, I digress. I LOVE your answer and I also try to eat less meat. I feel better when I eat more of a vegetarian diet but it is difficult to eat JUST as a vegetarian or vegan isn’t it?
Now, back to the purses. I’m pretty funny about purses. I went through a real Vera Bradley phase, especially for backpacks, which was one of the few girly things I ever truly did. So what is in my bag?
1. I don’t tend to keep things for a long time because I have family members with some serious hoarding issues, but what came to mind first is my USB drive. It isn’t flashy but I remember the heart attack I about had when I thought I’d lost it once. I don’t even use it all that much but it is a reminder to me of the decision I made back in 2006 to start writing again even though I was working in a very stressful job and knew it wasn’t something that would ever really bring me material gain. I used to keep the flash drive in my computer all day so I could type on documents I started at home in between working on my work files and then I could save them and take them back home at the end of the day.
2. Something I carry that I’m proud of? That would probably have to be pictures of my niece and nephews. I love my husband’s nephews but I have to say this speaks more to my sister’s children. I am just so proud of the mother she became. It is a reminder that no matter where you come from you can make the best of a situation.
3. What reveals a lot about me as a writer? Maybe the flash drive a little. (Obsessed much?) But I’d have to say it is the fact that I rarely go anywhere without a notebook, pen and a book that I’m reading. I always want to have the chance to jot down an idea if I have one and you just never know when you might have nothing to do in grocery store line etc so why not always have a book with you? The book, the paper and the pen are all the essentials to being a writer. You learn to want to be a writer because you read and you almost always first start with just a blank page and a full pen. Makes me think of my mother as well. She NEVER went anywhere without a book.
4. Concerns and worries are all that emotional baggage we carry along with us but when I think of how that is shown in a physical way it has to be the cell phone. I really don’t like having a cell phone. It seems a lot of money to spend when I rarely use it and I generally text more than I talk on it, ah introverted me still showing. But having that thing constantly with you means you have no real excuses to not be available and constantly present to everyone’s needs. When it rings I cringe. Who wants what now? Wait I was in the middle of writing a poem! I have taken to leaving it in another room when I’m working.
5. Since I’m not really a party person or a drinker, what possibly can I do for fun? Well I do carry my iTouch everywhere. What a perfect little item. It can scan for wifi. I can play music on it. I can take notes and email them to myself later. I can keep pictures on it. It is like a virtual wallet without the money which is probably part of why I can’t buy into the iPad. It is a huge iTouch without a camera and you can’t fit it into your pocket or the smaller kinds of purses or backpacks I favor. I’ll stick to my netbook thank you!
I feel like we are having one of those marathon phone conversations where you intended to only talk for 15 minutes and it turns into an hour. Are you my 8th grade boyfriend in disguise? You could be ‘cause (if this is OK to discuss) you enjoy a good pen name. I’ve never used one but pulling from our list of questions I have to ask: What’s the most ridiculous pen name you’ve ever considered?
J3: Well, that is not the first time I’ve been accused of being a man. I donned a Las Vegas showgirl costume one Halloween and every woman in the joint was convinced I was a man in drag. I am not sure where they thought I was hiding the boy bits. It was a tiny costume and a huge headdress. Think Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality 2.
So, the most ridiculous pen name! Probably the one I have although I did bandy about Benji Renfrowe which is an anagram of my given name. But, J-cubed is kind of growing on me. I might have to consider another change. I wanted something hermaphroditic that provided a safe haven for exploring what I laid out on the page, wouldn’t be stifled by self-censorship, wouldn’t worry about what other people thought and captured a truer essence of my personality. I also just liked how it sounded. Noel is my middle name and my daughter’s. John is my dad’s name. So, I kept it familial and not too far removed from the true self. I haven’t protected the sanctity of my nom du plume very well though, which says something about the neurotic nature of ME and my writing style. Anyone following my short list of publication credits will see three different nameplates, I think. Let’s just call it an identity crisis as I figure this whole creativity thing out. I’ve only been dabbling in the inkwell since late 2009. Reading back over my work sometimes even I have to ask ‘who the hell wrote that?’ People reading WATERTOWN probably won’t believe that I also wrote THE LAST VOODOO DOLL.
On the topic of writing style. What would you say is unique about yours and do you ever suffer from what I dub as a case of ‘comparativitis?’
J1: First off I LOVE your story of developing a penname and how you came to it. I gave it some thought for a while and definitely would have used Miller somewhere in there as that was my mother’s maiden name but I wanted to keep myself free to write as me and to not have the potential of being ashamed if someone found out I was my penname, if that makes sense. That being said, I want to do a blog post soon on pennames because I think there are pros and cons to them.
I worry ALL THE TIME that there is nothing unique to my writing style. I just finished reading a fantastic book of poetry by Rhett Trull (editor of CAVE WALL) titled The Real Warnings that makes me think I should never write again because how can I even compare to her word choice and narrative skill? I mean I tried to write a poem about my brother making me touch an electric fence but with her version of that topic why should I bother to write my own?
All that being said, I can’t seem to stop writing (well except for those 5 dreadful years when I did give it up in my 20s). I wrote poems on the school bus before I could even really write and even if they are “terrible” I’m gonna keep going because writing is a way for me to figure my own crazy self out, writing is a way that I connect with the rest of the world. I write myself, so to speak.
Since I had the first word, I’d love you to have the last. And to rhyme for a minute, this has been a blast. Make three statements about yourself: two true and one lie.
J3: Ah, the irony. I pen, and you don’t, under a pseudonym for virtually the same reason - shame avoidance. But then again, I’m the one writing about pricking voodoo dolls, Catholic boys sucking Lolly’s pop and the occasional emasculating missive. That is when I am not waxing philosophical about nature and anthropomorphizing animals.
I love your line “I write myself.” I will tuck that little morsel in my pocket for safe keeping. What I love about your voice is its observant, self-aware, imaginative, hopeful and unapologetic qualities. There is a feminine and soft-voiced honesty to your work that taps at the root of an innocent child still residing within. I can remember reading your book of poetry, PAPER HOUSE, and thinking I wish I could tell my story with the same deft hand. That along with your exhaustive productivity: Blogger, editor of Referential Magazine, actively writing poet, social networker. You are a tough act to follow.
Speaking of following. So I am supposed to end this thing with two truths and one lie about myself. *damn, I knew I would get this question!* Okay, here it goes…I am plagued with one nagging doubt. I am deeply pained by feeling misunderstood and unlovable. I am really a middle-aged metro-sexual man named John Jr.
If you missed Jessie Carty’s “Bound” or Johnsie Noel’s “In the Wake” and “Watertown” at Metazen, you can check them out here and here.
