Patrick Wensink does Bizarro. He is bizarre but never irreal. He makes you feel comfortable in a genre that so often puts readers off. His humor comes with a weight behind it, so much so that I found myself lingering more on substance and ideas behind his writing than the humor. In essence, Wensink uses the bizarre for more than a cheap laugh. But still there are laughs; ones born out of a clear refraction of the characters Wensink presents us in each of the stories in his collection Sex Dungeon For Sale!
Today at Metazen, we’ve published an excerpt from The Many Lives of James Brown’s Capes. You can read it here.
We sat down with Patrick and talked about writing, curling, coloring and Gerardo’s attempted comeback.
Metazen: How the hell do you judge a coloring contest?
Patrick: It was totally impossible for me to judge all the contestants in the Sex Dungeon for Sale! coloring contest. They were all very different and very good. They ranged from splatter-painted conceptual stuff, to old fashioned crayon entries, to snazzy digitally colored entries. Luckily, I asked the visitors to my website to vote for their favorite and a talented lady named Kate from Chicago received the most votes. Hers was a crayon drawn affair.
Metazen: Tell us about Sex Dungeon For Sale!. Explain it to prospective purchasers so Kevin Donihe stays happy.
Patrick: It’s a short story collection featuring realtors trying to sell a sexual playground, kindergarteners who think they’re French, an auction of James Brown’s belongings, dishwashers with a KILL cycle, something called “Chicken Soup for the Kidnapper’s Soul” and other tasty tales. Most are intended to be funny, and I think they succeed in that, but they’re also aiming to give readers more than a cheap laugh. Plus, they’re very short, the title story is about two pages long. I’ve been told they’re great for the bathroom, which I’m not sure is a compliment.
Metazen: My Son Thinks He’s French is an affair story. It is also a veiled attack on Canadian curling. Is curling a sport?
Patrick: Me, personally, I’d say it’s a sport. The narrator of that story is not really the nicest guy on the planet and I don’t think likes curling much. I actually think it looks like a lot of fun. I used to live in Portland, OR and there was an ice rink that gave curling lessons. My buddy and I always talked about trying it, but like a lot of brilliant ideas, we just kept drinking and forgot about it.
Metazen: Is there an art to writing greeting cards? What was your Selfish Kitty card?
Patrick: The biggest challenge with greeting card writing is saying a lot in a little space, usually two sentences (one on the cover and one on the inside.) Selfish Kitty specializes in sarcastic, funny cards, so it’s a lot like telling a really simple joke. I’ve actually had three cards published by them:
1. (Outside) “Happy Anniversary, I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. (Inside) “Well, maybe just the part where you giggle when I’m naked. [See it here];
2. (Outside) “New babies depend on you for love, comfort and food.” (Inside) “Now your husband isn’t the only one staring at your boobs.” [See it Here];
3. (Outside) “A nice, quiet dinner sounds like a perfect Valentine’s Day.” (Inside) “Unless you were thinking of taking off your pants too.”
Metazen: How do you write? Do you have methods?
Patrick: I’m very structured with my writing schedule, but my actual writing is very unstructured. I set aside four hours a day to write fiction and another four for my job, which is freelance copy writing. But when I’m writing fiction, I do very little planning or outlining. I have some ideas in my head and I just make it up as I go along. Afterwards, I edit, edit, edit until I’m no longer embarrassed about what I made up.
Metazen: There is a “famous” photo of you holding a teal typewriter. Is that real or prop? What about the goatee?
Patrick: That’s a real typewriter. I love it. I’ve actually used it for writing, but nothing from Sex Dungeon for Sale!. A typewriter makes it harder to fix mistakes, so I take more time with each word, as opposed to using a computer. The goatee is actually a spotty beard I’ve been growing for many years. I have a baby face and can’t grow the cool Kenny Rogers beard I want.
Metazen: Actually, you kind of look like a young Murray Hewitt. A handsome Murray Hewitt. Has anyone ever told you that?
Patrick: Murray from Flight of the Conchords? Ha! No, I’ve never heard that. I like that show a lot, so I’ll take it as a compliment. As far as I can remember, I’ve never been told I look like anyone famous. It’s usually, “Oh, I have a cousin” or “I have a a buddy that looks like you”, but then the story usually devolves into how that person has serious problems, either mentally or with the law. Clearly, my face is in good company.
Metazen: Absurdist fiction often runs the risk of being too silly. But in Sex Dungeon For Sale the stories have some very resonant and heavy truths beneath the humor. How do you balance humor in your writing?
Patrick: I’m just trying to write funny stories that I would want to read. And I always feel sort of cheated if something’s funny, but has no purpose. Those always feel like cheap laughs to me. So, with Sex Dungeon for Sale! I use a lot of sarcasm, satire and dark humor to try and make some comment about life and the world. Whether its about how some people have a powerful optimism, like with the title story, or about the importance of a work/life balance in “My Son Thinks he’s French”, or whatever the points of the other stories are, I hope people get more from them than just a laugh. But, I really do hope they get a laugh first and foremost.
Metazen: Can you talk a bit about Broken Piano? How is it different from Sex Dungeon.
Patrick: It’s my first novel and it’s finished, but it hasn’t been published yet. It’s a comedy about a guy who is more productive when he’s drunk than when he’s sober, a hamburger more addictive than crystal meth and the worst rock band on Earth. Like Sex Dungeon for Sale!, I hope readers find it funny, but hopefully it says something about consumerism, marketing and addiction too.
Metazen: Have you pre-ordered Gerardo’s 20th anniversary two-disc collector’s album? You should probably send him Me and Gerardo, Down by the Schoolyard.
Patrick: I’ll have to add that to my Wish List of albums! I haven’t tried sending it to him, I doubt he’d find it funny. It does feature a very ragged Gerardo selling his kidneys to support an expensive doo-rag habit.
Metaze: Thanks so much Patrick.
